It’s no joke – the Boring Conference, an annual event dedicated to the mundane and the everyday, will take place this year on Saturday May 7th at Conway Hall in Central London.
Conference organiser James Ward said: “The event is a waste of time and money. Nothing of any importance will be discussed. I was forced to adjust the schedule to avoid a direct clash this year with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day, though unfortunately we do have a clash with National Scrapbooking Day. All I can say is ‘play fair, scrapbookers, and let’s not have any funny business. There’s no need to spoil the day for others’.”
Confirmed talks for this year include ‘Bricks’, ‘Toilet roll quality control codes’, ‘Lamp posts’, ‘Pylons’, ‘Coin sizes and their relationship to value’ and ‘East German traffic lights’.
James Ward added: “The seating plan for this year’s event is the reconfigured Balmoral layout, compliant with ISO 9546 and the latest guidance for the International Conference and Events Association’s plenary in Croydon (ISBN 89727492-4, available from no good bookshops) on optimized seating plans for gatherings of enthusiasts.
“There’s always a somewhat thoughtless someone who comes to my events and tries to grab the limelight by arranging their collection of sanitary pet care products on the chair next to them, hoping that someone will come along and ‘discover’ them. The Balmoral provides space for these obsessives to take one of the dedicated double seat spaces in the back row without diverting attention from the stage. I’m confident that this will safeguard the fixed, dreamlike expressions that I am accustomed to seeing from the stage as the audience is inspired by the talks to let their imaginations wander.”
Tickets are on sale from the website. Don’t all rush at once.